Saturday, September 8, 2007

WWMRD - Making Love Happen Since Mid-2007

The world now knows that Bridget Moynahan named her kid, John Edward Thomas Moynahan. The world also now knows that Bridget Moynahan is awesome! Although it probably wasn’t intentional, I’d like to think that she named the kid J.E.T. Moynahan on purpose….just as a big F-U to the babydaddy, Tom Brady.

Bridget – If you REALLY want to stick it to Tom, then I have a proposition for you. You should take this one step further and start dating J.P. Losman. There is little doubt he would make a great father for little JET.

"Alright guys, once we are done with this tree, does anyone want to help me build a Bass Pro?"

I think that most would agree that this concept is both controversial and genius, (a bit like that Hardy Boys novel where they killed their parents, but ultimately it helped them solve the “Mystery of the Missing Allowance”.) The J.P. + Bridget = True Love concept was originally proposed by Steve Holt over at WorldWideNetWeb, I think it makes a LOT of sense.

For Bridget (and whoever else cares), I present the reasons she should date JP Losman:

1. First and foremost, JET needs a daddy.

2. Secondly, JP is a stand up guy. While your ex was out getting coked up with supermodels, JP is out bettering the community. Read about it here: Losman’s cleanup blitz comes up big

3. JP Losman throws a better deep ball that Tom Brady. Skills like that almost always transfer favourably to the bedroom.

4. JP Losman was named Buffalo’s ‘Most Eligible Bachelor’ by Forbes Magazine. He’s now 26, and is probably looking for a love match. No one wants to see him end up on “Confessions of a Matchmaker”. Patti Novak is mean, and would probably tell him to get a haircut.

5. JP is 6’2”. Tom is 6’4”. Clearly your selection of mid-size sedans would be greatly increased without having to worry about buying something to accommodate a 6’4” freak. (Rumour has it that Tom was just 5’4” until he started borrowing Bono’s shoes and hanging out with Dr. William Gogan down at the The Health and Rejuvenation Center).

6. Finally, you’d get to move to Western New York full-time. No doubt, this is a better option than living in Southern California. Since you’re not acting anymore, you’re probably watching your spending habits. Well, guess what? A dollar goes a lot further in WNY that it does in So-Cal. A pitcher of Bud at Kentucky Greg’s is $5.75. The same pitcher of Bud at Spago is $42.95…and at Spago you’d have to drink it in the company of a bunch of douchebags.

Is this enough to convince Bridget? Only Bridget knows. On the off-chance I’m not seeing paparazzi photos of Bridget leaving the Anchor Bar in the next couple weeks, I’ve got a back-up plan. I can’t tell you what it is exactly, but it will be patterned after Hilary Duff’s hijinks in her 2005 documentary, “The Perfect Man”.


  1. You're SO funny! Heel, I'm sold, and I bet the cheaper beer pitch alone will be enough to sway Bridget towards your plan. LOL. Great stuff.

  2. Marty, I just heard from a friend that one of the Bills suffered a freak injury during the game. Seems he has snapped his spinal. Hope he will be OK. We'll pray for him.

    Thanks for this blog. I am sure Bridget will appreciate the heads up. Maybe JP will call on her when he's home visiting.


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