Tuesday, October 28, 2008

WWMRD Calls....Bulgaria Answers!

So, who had Bulgaria in the 100th country pool?  If you did, congrats...but good luck collecting your winnings, because I hear your friends are deadbeats.

The Maloof's Bulgarian casino holdings are far less glamourous than the Palms.  Rumour has it Ron Artest checks coats here, just for the employee discount on Tolumbichki at the cafe next door.

Speaking of crazy people....

Here's why Japan is facking insane...but also kind of awesome.

1.  People have virtual "lives".  OK - fair enough.  I virtually create myself in Madden every year and have racked up a number of NFL MVP awards.

2.  People get virtually "married" in Maple Story.  'Nuff said...weddings are big business anywhere and everywhere.  Right now, there's an executive spending the fortune he made in virtual "save the date" cards on square watermelons and foreign whores.

3.  The "dead" guy contacted the police.  How does one go about reporting their own murder?  Perhaps this was touched on in the Lindsay Lohan vehicle, "I Know Who Killed Me".  There's no way to confirm though, as I am pretty sure this movie was never actually released.

4.  The police actually proceeded with the complaint.  This is the complete opposite of what I would have expected to happen, which would have been a lot of laughing, following by the officer charging the complainant with misuse of police resources.  (Japanese cops are robots, right?)

5.  The "killer" has been jailed and not yet formally charged.  OK, now I am confused.  Is this a real jail or a virtual jail?  Are you allowed to be jailed without charges?  I know that flies in Gitmo, but I didn't realize the Japanese were so ruthless.  Knowing this, I'm actually quite surprised my old roommate Toshio didn't have me poisoned for all the times I tried to convince him that Hideki Irabu liked dudes.

I make the points above not to mock the Japanese, but to show how wonderful they are.  With the exception of Hirohito and possibly those guys behind the sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway, has anyone ever met a Japanese person they didn't like???  Right....didn't think so.

And as an FYI, I had Sushi Marche for dinner tonight and it was delightful.  


Thursday, October 23, 2008

I'm awesome at giving advice....

Here's some advice....Burning Man is for losers.

A year ago today, I wrote about a wonderful restaurant called Mirazur that the wife and I visited on the honeymoon.  To celebrate the one year anniversary of that post, I bring you some not so surprising news:

Yeah, that's right.  Mauro Colegreco has been named the top chef if France.   And not just by me, some guy named "GaultMillau" totally agrees.  He knows his stuff.....and there's a chance that GaultMillau is actually former NFL speedster Willie Gault's "classy" pen name, but I'm not totally sure....  (FYI - I do realize GaultMillau is not actually a person.)

So - who took my advice and made the trip?  None?  Well screw you guys.

At the time, I referred to the Menu Dégustation as "the best bargain since Matt Stairs".  A year later, Matt Stairs is playing in the World Series (with the Phillies, natch) and Mirazur is raking in the accolades.  Holy effing Nostradamus.

A recent check of the Mirazur website shows that the Menu Dégustation has skyrocketed in price, from 75€ to 80€ - so, don't say I didn't warn you.  If you extrapolate the same 6.67% annual increase, you'll be paying as follows:

Oct 23, 2010 - 91.02€
Oct 23, 2020 - 173.55€
Oct 23, 2050 - 1,203.09€
Oct 23, 2100 - 30,320.23€
Oct 23, 3000 - 510,015,997,207,026,000,000,000,000,000.00€

My god.  Why wait till the year 3000 when you can go now at a fraction of the price?  You're a friggin idiot if you think half a nonillion dollars is a good deal for dinner.  Go now because 80€ is a steal.

And while we are the topic of anniversaries, this is the 15th anniversary of the HR.  The photo below says it all.  

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Whooaaaaaa....we're halfway there....

Yeah, that's right.  The "a hit from every country" project of late 2007, while on life support, did not die.  The main reason for this is because I finally realized I could export stats from Google Analytics to Excel....I really should have figured that out sooner. 

Anyway, with my newly exported list of countries and a quick vlookup, it has been determined that WWMRD is now sitting at a total of 99 (of my wish list of 197) countries.  The lucky land to get us over 50% - Croatia.

While research this piece, it was learned that both Bill Belichick and Nick Saban are of Croatian heritage.  Above is a photo of Belichick and Saban together.

You're probably wondering who are the countries added to the WWMRD hall of fame since last updated.  In no particular order, other than alphabetical, they are:

Costa Rica
Dominican Republic
El Salvador
Sri Lanka
Trinidad and Tobago

No real surprises there....except for China.  WTF?  20% of the world's population and it takes you a year to get on board?  For shame....though, perhaps we were banned there?

OK, I forgive.  Glad to have you.

So - goals for the coming months.  A few more countries from Africa and Polynesian penetration that would make Paul Gauguin proud. 

Feel free to help WWMRD - forward the URL to anyone you may know in:

Antigua and Barbuda
Brunei Darussalam
Cape Verde
Democratic Republic of the Congo
East Timor
Equatorial Guinea
Marshall Islands
North Korea
Papua New Guinea
Republic of the Congo
Saint Kitts and Nevis
Saint Lucia
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
San Marino
São Tome and Príncipe
Sierra Leone

Especially East Timor....my god, are they even allowed to have the internets there?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

As if the trip to work could get any worse.....

Sweet merciful crap.  Where have the days gone?

Yes, I apologize for the lack of commitment.  Me to blogging is as Tom Brady to fatherhood.  (Ah, Brady jokes....that felt good.)

I assume you are wondering what initiated the return to the world of typing to an audience of zero?  Well, it was this idiot right here:

It says here that Fen-Phen is most effective while being an uncivil slob.  Why does my chest hurt?

Consider this a companion piece to the WorldWideNetWeb's "Get to Know your Fellow Commuters" series.  Yes, the topic is unoriginal....but you can't expect my first post in months to be all thaaaaaat groundbreaking.  I'm not looking to shatter that glass ceiling that Hillary cracked....I'm just home alone, somewhat bored and halfway through a bottle of wine.

Back to the photo....you'll notice a stout woman taking up two seats during this morning's commuter rush on the TTC.  The display was way more obnoxious that the usual "my laptop is really heavy and needs it's own seat" crowd who we commuters usually have to deal with.  This peach decided that even with people standing everywhere, (some of whom were senior citizens) she needed a seat for her oversized ass, and another seat for her ham-hock legs crammed into knock-off Ugg boots.

I know you're not supposed to hit a person with glasses, but how about an inconsiderate sow-bag?  The reason I ask is because I really wanted to smack her, but I used better judgement and restrained myself.  Instead, I found myself questioning her obviously checkered upbringing and choice in oversized purses.  I'll let the purse thing slide, because how else are you going to get a 5lb frozen lasagna (aka lunch) to the office.....but what kind of person lacks the decency to realize that putting your dirty, wet boots where someone may want to sit is indefensible? 

As she waddled out of the car and up the stairs (probably on her way to buy a large diet coke) at Yonge Station, the seats were quickly filled again by people who were none the wiser.  Although I ran an 8% chance of being busted, and possibly charged, for taking this photo...I am glad I did it.  This kind of behaviour can not be forgiven or forgotten.  (It's somewhere between 9/11 and the Alamo, in my opinion.)  

Personally, I'm content with the knowledge that upwards of eight people may see this photo and know the true tale of what happened earlier today.  In a perfect world, the asshat above would read this post and realize that she should sit up straight....the subway isn't your own personal gurney at the overeaters anonymous VIP lounge.  Even better, I call on Councillor Adam Giambrone to ban her from the TTC.  At least it would make her get out and walk somewhere. The good Lord knows she could use it.

(Sorry if that was mean....she really was deserving of the insults.)

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Toronto the bland.....

Yeah, I don't really have anything good to say....just wanted to tally up the countries before it gets out of hand.

As of today, we can add Denmark, Morocco, Indonesia and Estonia to the mix.

By the way, did anyone happen to travel past Museum Station today on the Yonge University Spadina line? The renovations are finally done, and I must say - I'm a fan.

A travel mug full of gin will make you see crazy things on the morning commute...

I don't know who ponied up the cash for this, and I really don't care. It's little touches like this that make a pretty bland city like Toronto a bit more interesting. While we're at it, you can also consider me a fan of the OCAD Building, the new Crystal at the ROM and Toronto's post-modern masterpiece, Wild Wings on the Danforth.

It's very rare that you see design in this city stray away from the standard issue office tower/condo design du jour. If it continues, the downtown core is going to look extrodinarily dated in about 30 years.

Don't forget, the building above was also considered modern about 30 or 35 years ago. Looking at it now makes we want to move to a tent city somewhere far away....

Monday, April 7, 2008

Morrissey - pro-seal, anti-rural economy.

This just in....Morrissey is apparently pro-seal, anti-rural economy.

Morrissey Hates Canada, Loves Seals

OK, first off....why do I care? Morrissey, while once relevant, lost the title of "Best Lyracist" to Joel Plaskett about 10-12 years ago. So, really...Morrissey's opinion on anything should hold about as much weight as Sebastian Bach's. (editors note: We here at WWMRD would value Sebastian Bach's opinion on the seal hunt far more than Morrissey's.....at least he's Canadian.)

Apparently you can chunk out on just vegetables...

Is the seal hunt the new cause-du-jour ? It seems every washed up celebrity looking to get their name in the press has something bad to say about the seal cull in Canada, (more on this later.)

At last check, Harp Seals are by no means endangered...not even close. Local hunters are not killing off seals to the point of extinction, they seem to be following the quotas set out by the Canadian government. Have to assume that someone has calculated a reasonable cull per year...I don't think the government is that unreasonable to try an purposely push a species to the proverbial brink.

Now, don't get me wrong...I have no problem with people standing up for something (seals) which really can't stand up for themselves. As an example, I am all for saving Pandas...but at last check, aren't there like 2,000 of them left? There are MILLIONS of seals. Just like there are MILLIONS of chinchillas and chickens out there. I fail to see the issue with a reasonable annual hunt.

Is it the method in which they are killed? At last check, I would not care to have my head smashed with a hakapik either, but it's a lot better than being torn to shreds by hounds, purely for the entertainment of the noble set in England. At last check, Morrissey is not boycotting the UK. Yeah, yeah...the fox hunt is illegal, but guess what....there are still a lot more fox hunters than seal hunters. What? Not boycotting the United States either? What about that whole Iraq thing? For my money, I'd much rather take a swift, crushing blow to the head than the good times that go along with waterboarding.

Now, I really shouldn't knock Morrissey. Dude is a vegetarian, and would probably stick up for any animal, (that said, he used to wear a lot of leather.) He's a better man than I am...because if I was pulling in Smiths royalty cheques, I'd be eating foie gras twice a day. I don't agree with his views, but at least he sticks to them....and that is somewhat noble. What gets me is that it seems the timing of his tirade against Canada seems to be coincidentally lined up with the recent release of his greatest hits album.

So, maybe it's all just a cozy cause to get behind. Speaking out against Canada is kind of like picking on the small kid in your class. Really, what are we going to do about it? As per Wiki, here's a list of the "celebrities" who are anti-seal hunt:

Richard Dean Anderson
Charles Aznavour
Kim Basinger
Juliette Binoche
Sir Paul McCartney
Heather Mills
Mick Jagger
George Harrison
Pamela Anderson
Martin Sheen
Pierce Brosnan
Paris Hilton
Sara Quin
Loretta Swit
Robert Kennedy, Jr.
Rutger Hauer
Brigitte Bardot
John Paul DeJoria
Ed Begley, Jr.
Dave Foreman
Farley Mowat
Linda Blair
Berkeley Breathed
Rolf Harris
Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Vines
Hawthorne Heights
The Darkness
Good Charlotte

Who cares about anyone on this list? Not me. The only decent one of the bunch is Mogwai, and they hate everything. Call me once George Clooney gets involved.

Now, don't overestimate what I've just said. I'm an idiot, and I have about as much knowledge of the seal hunt as anyone mentioned in this piece. If anyone has a link to some anti-seal hunt research, done by a scientist who is biased one way or the other, send it my way as I'd be more than glad to read it.

Morrissey, if you want to rally against something that is going to better the world, at least do your best to bring down big tobacco, pollution or even human rights in many parts or the world. At least there is some upside for your fellow man there.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


I've got nothing to say. At all. Just wanted to give all yous an update on the countries that have reveled in WWMRD for the first time this week.


Isn't that awesome? Speaking of being awesome, if you google the term "awesome" this is the first image returned:

And you know what? It is awesome.

If you ask the glorious Jeeves the same question, here's what he provides:

Fack me. And with that, we now know why Larry Page and Sergey Brin are richer than astronauts, and the guy behind Ask Jeeves is best known for being an "accomplished pilot".

Happy Easter and all of that. Will try to post something more when I am not drunk and not to mention, a fantasy baseball draft in under an hour....I'm thinking Jeff Kent is due for a career year.

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