Friday, September 21, 2007

Let’s get ready to rummblllllleeeeeee…..from the coommmfooorrrrrrrrrttttttt of our desk chaaaiiiirrrrsssss!

Tough and handsome....a leathal combination.

With workplaces everywhere blocking all that is good on the internet, there has been a void in the net-based gaming industry. The world required a game that can be played interactively, yet remotely….without any trouble from those pesky firewalls.

A few months ago, some of the world’s great minds came together to create a game which can be played via email, from the comfort of your own home, or office, or home office (if you happen to be so blessed). It was sort of like the Manhattan Project, but with the goal of defeating workplace boredom, rather than the Axis powers of WWII.

The game does not have a name, but if it did it would probably be something like “My Birthday Can Beat Up Your Birthday”.

The rules are simple.

1. Think about what your birthday is…write it down if need be.
2. Look to the internet and find the three toughest people born on your birthday.
3. Let your team of three battle it out with other teams of three, toughest day wins.

This is not as easy as it sounds. Quite often you will find that Wikipedia will provide you with a couple tough people with whom you share a birthday, but you lack that third team member to really bring it together. For this, I would suggest scanning NHL and/or NFL rosters, as many players aren’t famous enough to get themselves listed in Wikipedia.

Remember – this fight does not occur in the present, therefore each of your team members can be thought of as at their physical peak. If you’re lucky enough to be born on the same day as Louis Cyr, by all means include him in your squad.

You must also remember that soccer and basketball players are not tough. They may be athletes, but they’re not going to win any fights. There are some exceptions in basketball, such as Charles Oakley, Anthony Mason or possibly Xavier McDaniel. There are no such exemptions is soccer.

To get you started, I will provide you with my team of three…we call ourselves “March 31st”

1. Jack Johnson aka “The Galveston Giant" – American boxing legend
2. Gordie Howe – scary tough…loves to throw elbows.
3. Naoya Ogawa – the internet claims he is the toughest man in Japan. Not sure what he’s all about, but he is 6’4”, 254 lb.

We really drop off after that, (Herb Alpert is 4th toughest), but not a big deal, as each team only requires three members. I haven’t done too much research, but I think that’s a team that could go toe-to-toe with any date on the calendar.

If you think you’ve got a team that can take on March 31st, feel free to post it the comments section. (Pat – refer to the guidelines above before you include Greg Oden on your team. Luckily, you do have Jason Peters to pick up the slack.)

Stay safe and have fun!


  1. My birthday could totally kick Gordie Howe, Japanese guy and Taye Diggs' asses. Just you wait...

  2. I was wrong. Dec 10th sucks. Michael Clark Duncan (size will overcome placid nature), Abu Abbas (terrorist mastermind from the 1960s) and Rob Blake (big guy but not super tough).

    I might as well throw in Raven Symone, Harland Williams or Emily Dickinson to replace Abbas and just position myself for the lottery. Car bombing probably isn't allowed anyways.

  3. Jason Peters, Ivan the Great of Russia (built the Kremlin, best Russian king ever), Rasputin (dude got stabbed, shot 4 times, poisoned and still got up to fight his attackers), Lou Creekmur (hall of fame o-lineman), Bill Bixby (played the incredible hulk, what can be tougher than that?), Arthur Beetson (hall of fame rugby player - nicknamed Big Artie, known as the strongest player in rugby in the 70's), Steve Perry (how can you not include Journey?), Tully Blanchard (wrestler - weighs 225), Greg Oden (7 feet, 270 pounds at age 19).....January 22nd just keeps giving.


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