Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Lance Briggs (and a bunch of other stuff...)

I am officially announcing myself as a candidate to join Lance Briggs' legal team...and I think I have a pretty good shot, despite having no formal training in law-talkin' stuff.

As you may know, Lance apparently crashed his Lamborghini MurciƩlago in Chicago, and then proceeded to leave the scene of the accident. Read about it here:

Briggs' offenses minor

Now, Lance has admitted to driving the car...but it is possible he gave this statement under duress. I do realize the car is registered to him, but there is NO WAY he was driving it. How am I so certain? Lance Briggs is listed at 6'1" and 240 lb. There is no possible way he could have wedged himself into a car designed for a 5'7", 130lb Italian. It is just not possible. If the abandoned car would have been a Ford F150 or a large motorcoach, he would have been in trouble...but he wasn't. This defense is airtight.

So, as the late Johnnie Cochran might have said, "if the car doesn't fit, you must acquit."

Ideally, the Bears will cut him and he can sign with the Bills. I'd take a chance on him...anything to help the D. Normally, after three weeks of pre-season, I am filled with false hope about the coming season, and feel that a playoff spot is well within reach. This year, I'm just not feeling it. Unless, Dick Jauron has been sandbagging it for the whole preseason. He looks like a hustler, so that must be it. OK, once again I am convinced that the Bills are going to the playoffs....

How about another celebrity look-a-like? Adam Olenius, (lead singer of Swedish band Shout Out Louds) and Jason Schwartzman, (star of Rushmore and I Heart Huckabees).

Rushmore - great movie. I Heart Huckabees - terrible, (I'm not very smart, so maybe I just didn't "get it".)

Speaking of Huckabees, consider this a shout out to former Jay, Ken Huckaby. You will forever hold a special place in our hearts for taking out Derek Jeter on opening day a few years ago. The photo below is a classic.

Over and out - gotta get back to multi-tasking.

Now Watching - Bucs/Dolphins pre-season football.

Now Listening - Rogue Wave's new album, "Asleep at Heaven's Gate". So far, so good. I like the heavy New Order influence on the opening track, as well as the nod to Marshall Applewhite.

Now Drinking - Reunion Island Ethiopia Sidamo coffee. It's fair trade. Bob Geldof would be proud.

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