Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Buffalo - you've got a job to do! The pay is not so good, (but it will look great on a resume)

Gisele Bündchen once dated the keyboard player from Honeymoon Suite.

When a visiting team comes to B-Lo, does anyone know where they stay? Anyone?

The luxurious Mansion on Delaware is far too small to hold the team, although maybe pretty boy and his current German-Brazilian beard stay there. (Side note: Is it just me, or is Gisele Bündchen aging badly? Seriously! I used to think she was foxy back in the day, but every time I see her now, I think she kind of looks like Steffi Graf. That’s not a compliment.) If they are staying there, I hope the ghost that haunts the fourth floor terrorizes them.

Actually, wait a sec....I know this....the rest of the team is staying at the Hyatt. I know this because Steve Holt over at WorldWideNetWeb stayed there last year and had a run in with LaDanian Tomlinson, a J-Lo tracksuit wearing Phil Rivers, and a piano player who was kind of racist. But as Hammy Hamster says, that’s another story….

To the good kids of Buffalo: I encourage you this coming Saturday, after a night of revelry on Chippewa Street, to make the short walk over to the Hyatt and raise hell. It will be fun - and for a good cause!

To make it real easy, I have presented some easy to follow steps:

1. Leave you bar of choice between the hours of 1 and 4am. The drunker the better.

2. Head over to Jim’s Steak-Out and grab a hoagie.

3. Walk up to the Hyatt. If someone who sort of looks like a hooker asks you for a light, BE CAREFUL! She will try to grab your package. This is fact.

4. Run Wild. Make lots of noise. Make sure the Pats don’t sleep a wink. There’s no security at the Hyatt…..and even if there is, do you think they’re going to care if you f*ck with the douchebag Pats? Not bloody likely.

5. If you happen to see Tedy Bruschi, kick him in the nuts. Then make a joke about people who suffer from roid-induced strokes.

Is this course of action offside? Hardly. If you check Facebook, you'd see that one Bill Belichick started a group prior to Week 3 that encouraged local fratboys to take time off from fantasizing about showering with Terry Francona to disrupt the travelling Bills. He also started a group encouraging people to commit adultery with chicks from Jersey who aren't that hot.

Would you pay this woman $30,000 a month to be your girlfriend? Belichick would.

So, there it is kids….I suppose this qualifies as a “call to arms”. If you go to UB, ECC or even D’Youville College – pass this message on to your friends and classmates. Everyone knows this is a far more worthy cause than any disease…including rabies.

1 comment:

  1. Well that was enjoyable, and a darn good idea. With Money out, we need all the help we can get...


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