I'm awesome at giving advice....

Here's some advice....Burning Man is for losers.

A year ago today, I wrote about a wonderful restaurant called Mirazur that the wife and I visited on the honeymoon.  To celebrate the one year anniversary of that post, I bring you some not so surprising news:

Argentinian-born Italian crowned top chef in France

Yeah, that's right.  Mauro Colegreco has been named the top chef if France.   And not just by me, some guy named "GaultMillau" totally agrees.  He knows his stuff.....and there's a chance that GaultMillau is actually former NFL speedster Willie Gault's "classy" pen name, but I'm not totally sure....  (FYI - I do realize GaultMillau is not actually a person.)

So - who took my advice and made the trip?  None?  Well screw you guys.

At the time, I referred to the Menu Dégustation as "the best bargain since Matt Stairs".  A year later, Matt Stairs is playing in the World Series (with the Phillies, natch) and Mirazur is raking in the accolades.  Holy effing Nostradamus.

A recent check of the Mirazur website shows that the Menu Dégustation has skyrocketed in price, from 75€ to 80€ - so, don't say I didn't warn you.  If you extrapolate the same 6.67% annual increase, you'll be paying as follows:

Oct 23, 2010 - 91.02€

Oct 23, 2020 - 173.55€

Oct 23, 2050 - 1,203.09€

Oct 23, 2100 - 30,320.23€

Oct 23, 3000 - 510,015,997,207,026,000,000,000,000,000.00€

My god.  Why wait till the year 3000 when you can go now at a fraction of the price?  You're a friggin idiot if you think half a nonillion dollars is a good deal for dinner.  Go now because 80€ is a steal.

And while we are the topic of anniversaries, this is the 15th anniversary of the HR.  The photo below says it all.  

Mirazur - Great Restaurant or the Greatest Restaurant?

Well, here comes a new feature on WWMRD....restaurant review!

Myself and wife just got back from our honeymoon in the UK, France and Italy. Considering how much we ate, we're lucky to have not put on 20 to 30 pounds (each). I assume this has to do with the fact we were smoking at a Dice Clay-ian pace. Actually, we weren’t….but it would have been cool/sophisticated if we were.

Anyway, I like restaurants, but I am not really the type to write about them, (I leave that to people who know how to write properly…most of my adjectives are swear words). I prefer to rant about how much my stable of sports teams sucks….so this is a nice, little change of pace. The restaurant to be discussed today is called Mirazur, and is located in Menton, France. The short review is this: Best meal I’ve ever had! For the long review, see below.

First things first – If you are taking the train to Mirazur, get off at the Menton Garavan stop….not the main Menton train station. Mirazur is about a 10 minute walk from the Garavan stop, but closer to 45 minutes from the main stop. Less walking is better.

We hiked up the hill towards the restaurant, and I must say I was somewhat nervous about our pending arrival to the fancy, Michelin-rated establishment. Would they kick me out straight away for looking like a homeless guy? Thankfully, they did not. Upon arrival, we were warmly greeted by Guillaume Mantis…a guy who could be described as both ‘classy’ and ‘slick’. I was somewhat worried that my wife would want to leave me for him….and to be honest, I wouldn’t have really blamed her.

After admiring the stunning view for a while, we opted for the 9 course Menu Dégustation….which at 75€ may be the best bargain since Matt Stairs. Before the first course arrived, we ordered some champagne and were provided with some amuse bouche.



From right to left:

-Olive oil and honey, infused with CO2. Effectively, these are gourmet pop rocks.
-Ricotta with some flowers from the garden and little pieces of citrus. The texture of the citrus was almost like caviar, but it was not. Who knows…I could be wrong….but I think it was grapefruit.
-Duck breast with cream and oil.
-Cucumber and mint soup.

At this point, I was fairly certain we were in for quite a meal.

1st Course – Oeuf de poule cuit à basse temperature (Ogre perlé aux algues fraiches)



This was an egg, poached a low temperature for 35 minutes. It was served on top of barley along with seaweed and salt. The grain was cooked so it retained a lot of its texture, which was nice. I imagine this type of classy breakfast is what rich people eat every day.

2nd Course - Velouté de pomme de terre Vitelotte (Espuma au café de Columbie)



A creamy potato soup made with Vitelotte potatoes. (Vitelottes are purple, and somewhat sweet). This soup was topped with a foam flavoured with coffee. Of course, this tasted wonderful…but my favourite part of this dish was the different temperature of each layer. The cool foam on top seemed to somehow insulate the warm soup underneath. The temperature of the soup came as a surprise, not unlike finding a warm spot in a public swimming pool.

3rd Course - Jardin d'automne (Légumes cuits et crus dans un boullon au parmesan)



A bowl of seven different types of vegetables from their garden. On top of this a bouillon flavoured with parmigiano reggiano. A classy cheese and vegetable soup.

4th Course - Oursin de Méditerranée (Sauce pimenté et émulsion d'amandes)



Awesome….sea urchin. I was quite looking forward to this course, as I am a big fan of uni whenever I go for sushi. It’s strange that something so ugly and scary looking can turn out to be possibly the best tasting food in the world. They’re a bit like the Pittsburgh Pirates of the mid-70s…..great team, horrible uniforms. This was served in the shell, along with a slightly spicy sauce and an almond emulsion.

5th Course - Foie gras des Landes grillé (Mousseline de betterave et citron de notre jardin)



Grilled foie gras. ‘Nuff said. The side off lemon and beet is a seemingly simple sweet and sour combo that I wish I had thought of myself. I can’t believe some politicians have moved to ban the sale and production of foie gras. It makes about as much sense as banning stem cell research! (Oh wait…politicians aren’t cool with that either?!!?) I maintain that any animal rights activist would ram the funnel down the duck/goose’s throat themselves if they ever actually gave up their all grain diet and tried some foie gras. Did I say that sea urchin was the best food in the world? I might have meant foie gras.

6th Course - Poisson de la pèche locale (Oseille sauvage et sauce fumée)



Some kind of local white fish served with foamy sauce of smoked fish and clams. I’ve occasionally cooked fish and thought to myself, “wow…that turned out well”. I now know that I wasn’t even close. This fish was cooked PERFECTLY….I don’t know of any other way to describe it. It seemed to be poached, but I could be wrong.

7th Course - Souris d'agneau de Sisteron (Risotto à la menthe de marées)



Lamb, cooked for 30 hours and served with mint risotto. Again…it was pretty much perfect, (seems to be a running theme here).

8th Course - Pré-dessert



Any restaurant that serves a dessert appetizer is OK with me. For this course, we had a pineapple sorbet, along with a mousse flavoured with some kind of flower, and a nettle jelly. This is much fancier than most desserts I have…..because to be honest, I normally have Oreo ice cream.

9th Course – Dessert



Ice cream along with a chocolate truffle and hazelnut pralines…..served on a bed of shaved coco. Is there any point telling you how awesome this was, or is that just being redundant?

Bonus Course – Coffee and more dessert!



Along with our coffees, we were served a selection of home made sweets. From right to left:

-Lemon custard on shortbread
-Chocolate something. They looked like cookies, but had the taste and texture of marshmallows.
-Muffin with a dried cherry.
-White chocolate containing a dried apricot, a hazelnut and a pistachio. (My favourite)
-Some kind of chewy chocolate cookie with nuts

3+ hours later – we were finally done. I really could have stayed and started the whole process over again…but that would just be gluttonous, (not that there’s anything wrong with that). I had mixed feelings about finding out the chef, Mauro Colagreco, was actually younger than me. On one hand, it will be fun to say in 20 years that we ate at Mirazur way back when – at that time I would expect Colagreco to have multiple accolades and charging a small ransom for his food. On the other hand, it makes me feel old and useless.

Here are the details for Mirazur:

30, avenue Aristide Briand
Menton, France.
Phone: +33 (0)4-92-41-86-86.
Web Site: www.mirazur.fr

I would HIGHLY recommend this place to anyone who finds themselves in Southern France or Northern Italy. Definitely worth the trip. The fact that it’s on the main rail line along the Cote D’Azur makes it very easy to get to. You really don’t have any excuse not to go here….

Dead to Me....

To steal a bit from Stephen Colbert, I present to you “Dead to Me” for the Week of September 13, 2007.

1. The 2007 Toronto Blue Jays

Did anyone else realize that Lyle Overbay has one white hand, and one black hand?

Before the season started, I was so excited for 2007 Jays offensive juggernaut that I pitched a tent…..outside the Gate 9 ticket window, so that I would have first crack at quality Jays tickets for the coming season. Was I a little worried about the patchwork pitching staff? Sure….but who cares when we are going to score 12 runs a game.

Fast forward six months. My excitement level remains high…not because the Jays are in the mix for a playoff spot…but because I’ve used my last tickets for the year. (Actually, that’s a lie. I have tickets for this Friday’s game, but I put them on Craigslist with an asking price of $0.00. No takers yet.) Praise the Lord! I can now completely stop paying attention to this lazy, uninspired and frustrating ball club.

The were a few bright spots this season – those being the emergence of Shaun Marcum as a quality starter, the rejuvenation of Matt Stairs, and the outstanding customer service of our ticket rep, Tyler McNamara. It’s just not enough to keep me interested now that it is football season. 2007 Toronto Blue Jays – you are officially dead to me!


2. Gary Bettman

"Hey ladies....here's what I'd look like with a moustache!"

Do you think that Roger Goodell, David Stern, Bud Selig and Gary Bettman ever hang out together? Maybe the occasional round of golf, or the annual “Commissioners Only” party over at Vince McMahon’s house? If they do, I have no doubt that Bettman is the outcast who sits in the corner by himself and tries to make eye contact with everyone who walks by, just so they’ll be forced into a few minutes of meaningless conversation with him. No one really wants him to tag along…he just sort of invites himself because he is the Commissioner of a professional sports league.

Gary Bettman’s desire to impress his Commissioner friends is the only thing that can explain Mark Bell’s 15-game suspension! “Hey Goodell, check it out! I can run things with an iron first too! Wanna go to the Sizzler?” Let the record show that Mark Bell has already been forced into some sort of league-mandated rehab, (even though he’s been admittedly sober for a while), and that’s not even the worst of it! He’s gotta spend next summer in prison! Way to kick a kid while he’s down Bettman!

I could go on, but I won’t bother. I just realized that David Shoalts wrote the same article in today’s Globe & Mail. I swear I hadn’t read that before. He’s a professional writing guy, so I will let him finish the story.

Don’t even get me started on the meddling that continues to keep teams out of viable markets like Hamilton. Bettman – just resign already. You’re already dead to me!


3. Rick Reilly

Rick Reilly - Making Mock Turtlenecks "work" since 1985

I used to not mind Rick Reilly. He can occasionally be funny, or at least reasonably interesting. After this week’s piece – he’s dead to me!

School For The Uncool

Another fluffy piece about the greatness of Tom Brady…wonderful. Why don’t you just write about how murder is bad, and kittens are cute! It’s much more edgy material!

My favourite part of the article is where Tom talks about his new kid, and Reilly’s ensuing proclamation that Brady has got this parenting thing all figured out:

"I kind of cuddled him like a football," Brady says, adding that it's killing him that he can't be in Los Angeles for every sneeze. "I'd love to be out there all the time, year-round, but it's hard to make that a reality. I live here. But I'll start lobbying for off days throughout the year."

Personal responsibility. Check.

What the? That’s all it takes to be considered as a person who takes care or their responsibilities? Someone should tell this to Bridget Moynahan so she can appreciate what a great father Tom is! Once I’m done with my summer vacation, I plan on working one day every two weeks. When is Haley’s Comet back? That’s when the CRA can expect me to file my taxes! I always thought parenting would be easy, and Rick Reilly has confirmed it!

4. Google Ads

Who can hate Google Ads? You put them on your website…occasionally a cross-eyed visitor clicks them by mistake…bingo, Google sends you a cheque for $100. It’s so, so easy….but as of today – so, so immoral.

Why all the hate? Well…as I was doing my daily reading over at WorldWideNetWeb, I came across the following Google Ad:

Whaaaaaaaaaaat the hell? Google is pimping their Video Toolbar by exploiting poor Kevin Everett? That’s just wrong. Do you think they also have ads that read “Christopher Reeve bloopers – watch Superman fall off a horse!” or “Check out Chris Benoit put his son in the sleeper!” I’m very unhappy about this.

Google Ads – you’re dead to me. Although, I will leave you up on WWMRD as I am up to almost $6 in revenue.


5. Walls



Now – this one seems a little strange, but hear me out. I was viciously attacked by a wall in my home this morning, leaving me with some elbow bruising. At press time, I’m listed as ‘probable’ for tonight’s softball game.

Some say the wall was provoked when I decided to take off a bulky hooded sweater while walking down an narrow hall, but that’s just a lie.

Walls, for your unprovoked attack on me this morning, you’re dead to me. From now on, I will be living in a tent at Withrow Park. Once the snow starts to fall, I will find a neighbour’s carport to sleep under. You won’t be able to find me there!

Chemical Ali is getting off easy!! [That's what she said]

So, Ali Hassan al-Majeed aka 'Chemical Ali' is finally going to hang for his crimes. He's going down along with his sidekicks, Sultan Hashem Ahmed and Hussein Rashid Mohammed. Not really sure what the other guys did, but it is a shame they don't have great nicknames like Chemical Ali, (or Chem-Al to his friends and the sportscasters at ESPN.)

Judge: 'Chemical Ali,' 2 others to be hanged

Hanging? It's not exactly the serene cakewalk of a lethal injection, but still pretty light in terms of execution styles. Sure...your head might pop off, but who cares! If I were hung (hanged?) I'd want my head to pop off so there'd be much more mess and gore for those jerk executioners to clean up! It takes more than windex to get spinal fluid out of a cement floor!

"Now use your left hand to rub your stomach in a circular motion. It's tough, eh?"

Clearly, to hang them would be a cop out. These guys killed 100,000 people by much more gruesome methods. Here are my suggestions for some more fitting execution methods:

1. Gored on a meat hook, then pushed into some sort of machinery or a blast furnace. A lá the bad guy in Stallone's 1986 masterpiece, "Cobra".

2. Put him in a Tom Brady jersey and leave him alone with Paul Posluszny. Alternatively, start a rumour that he said some sh*t about Matt Stairs.

3. Take him up in one of those research planes that follow storms and push him out into the middle of Hurricane Felix. It would finally end the "if you fell out of a plane into a hurricane, what would kill you? The storm, the fall, or the shock of being pushed out of a plane into a storm?" debate.

4. Perhaps the ultimate method of torture would be to force him to direct a used car commercial somewhere in middle America. There is no doubt he would eventually kill himself after a few hours of taking orders from some small town used car dealer. You would too if you had your artisic vision interferred with by demands like:

• "Hey Ali, get a shot of Amanda and her cousins holding the Stars and Stripes over by the 89s...that'll be real cute."


• "Yes, I am going to wear this eagle costume. USA! USA!"


• "Forget your music....my band is providing the soundtrack. We're heavily influenced by Frank D’Angelo and the Steelback 24."


• "We need more yelling!"

Well, that's all I got...we can all agree that Chemical Ali is a douchebag. Nix that, Chemical Ali is a huge douchebag. So are Sultan Hashem Ahmed and Hussein Rashid Mohammed.

Feel free to leave your favourite forms of execution in the comments section below. Chien-Ming Wang is pitching today, so I will hopefully be back later with a hilarious headline!!!

Chemical Ali

What Would Matt Stairs Do?

This web-based journal would have had a new name today if the Lord would have answered our prayers and let Matt Stairs beat Alex Rodriguez to a bloody pulp last night.





There is no debate about who would have won that fight. One guy's toughest moment was slapping Bronson Arroyo....the other guy is an ex-hockey player. We all saw A-Rod get tuned by Jason Varitek a couple years ago....this would have been much worse.

Speaking of Matt Stairs....how can there be websites dedicated to the legendary prowess of Jack Bauer or Chuck Norris, but not one for Matt Stairs? Well guess what? This website is going to become the definitive online resource for the legend of Matt Stairs. Let's refer to this bio, just for inspiration.

Baseball Profile Matt Stairs
Baseball Digest, May, 2000 by Rick Sorci
FULL NAME: Matthew Wade Stairs
AGE, HT., WT.: 32, 5-9,206
Born: February 27, 1968 in St. John, New Brunswick, Canada
HOME: San Ramon, California
STATUS/FAMILY: Married with three children
NICKNAME: Matt, Stairsey
LIFE OUTSIDE BASEBALL: Relaxing. I follow hockey a lot, especially Montreal and San Jose.
MY SPORTS HERO WHEN I WAS YOUNG: Yvan Cournoyer of the Montreal Canadiens
PEOPLE WHO INFLUENCED ME THE MOST/WHY: My parents. They never put a lot of pressure on me. They supported what I wanted to do.
BEST ADVICE ANYONE EVER GAVE ME: My father told me to be myself and not change for anyone.
IF I COULD MEET ONE PERSON IT WOULD BE: Babe Ruth
PLAYERS, PAST OR PRESENT, I'D PAY TO WATCH PLAY BASEBALL: Carl Yastrzemski, Jim Rice, Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens.
HOBBIES: I like fishing and watching professional wrestling.
TYPE OF CAR: Corvette
FAVORITE ACTOR: Sean Connery

His nickname is "Matt" and he drives a Corvette. The only word to describe that is "rad".

So, in case you didn't know:

• Matt Stairs won a UFC tournament in 1998. You'll never see the tape as it was banned for being "too bloody".
• After Pierce Brosnan retired, Matt Stairs turned down the role of James Bond. He described Bond's lifestyle as "tame".
• The guy who is travelling to all 30 MLB stadiums to raise awareness for Social Anxiety Disorder didn't actually have the disorder before yesterday. He was taking in a game down at the Rogers Centre....Matt Stairs gave him a dirty look...the rest is history.

Please feel free to add more in the comments section below.

I don't really have much to add to the commentary on last nights game. Good on Josh Towers for nailing that douchebag. It pains me to know that sometime in 2013 or 2014, Rodriguez is going to break Barry's all-time HR tally. Barry may be a surly old SOB, but he seems like a drop of sunshine compared to A-Rod. I take solace in the fact that his wife is an idiot too....a lifetime of unhappiness is much deserved for you both. If there any good in the universe, Prince Fielder will hold the record one day.

In other news, the Karel Pilar era has come to a close in Toronto. After making a few appearances for the Marlies at the end of last season, Karel signed with Atlanta today. Somewhat sad, as he was always an intriguing talent. Too bad about the wonky ticker.