WWMRD Calls....Bulgaria Answers!

So, who had Bulgaria in the 100th country pool?  If you did, congrats...but good luck collecting your winnings, because I hear your friends are deadbeats.

The Maloof's Bulgarian casino holdings are far less glamourous than the Palms.  Rumour has it Ron Artest checks coats here, just for the employee discount on Tolumbichki at the cafe next door.

Speaking of crazy people....

Online divorcee kills virtual husband

Here's why Japan is facking insane...but also kind of awesome.

1.  People have virtual "lives".  OK - fair enough.  I virtually create myself in Madden every year and have racked up a number of NFL MVP awards.

2.  People get virtually "married" in Maple Story.  'Nuff said...weddings are big business anywhere and everywhere.  Right now, there's an executive spending the fortune he made in virtual "save the date" cards on square watermelons and foreign whores.

3.  The "dead" guy contacted the police.  How does one go about reporting their own murder?  Perhaps this was touched on in the Lindsay Lohan vehicle, "I Know Who Killed Me".  There's no way to confirm though, as I am pretty sure this movie was never actually released.

4.  The police actually proceeded with the complaint.  This is the complete opposite of what I would have expected to happen, which would have been a lot of laughing, following by the officer charging the complainant with misuse of police resources.  (Japanese cops are robots, right?)

5.  The "killer" has been jailed and not yet formally charged.  OK, now I am confused.  Is this a real jail or a virtual jail?  Are you allowed to be jailed without charges?  I know that flies in Gitmo, but I didn't realize the Japanese were so ruthless.  Knowing this, I'm actually quite surprised my old roommate Toshio didn't have me poisoned for all the times I tried to convince him that Hideki Irabu liked dudes.

I make the points above not to mock the Japanese, but to show how wonderful they are.  With the exception of Hirohito and possibly those guys behind the sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway, has anyone ever met a Japanese person they didn't like???  Right....didn't think so.

And as an FYI, I had Sushi Marche for dinner tonight and it was delightful.  

Oyasuminasai!

I'm awesome at giving advice....

Here's some advice....Burning Man is for losers.

A year ago today, I wrote about a wonderful restaurant called Mirazur that the wife and I visited on the honeymoon.  To celebrate the one year anniversary of that post, I bring you some not so surprising news:

Argentinian-born Italian crowned top chef in France

Yeah, that's right.  Mauro Colegreco has been named the top chef if France.   And not just by me, some guy named "GaultMillau" totally agrees.  He knows his stuff.....and there's a chance that GaultMillau is actually former NFL speedster Willie Gault's "classy" pen name, but I'm not totally sure....  (FYI - I do realize GaultMillau is not actually a person.)

So - who took my advice and made the trip?  None?  Well screw you guys.

At the time, I referred to the Menu Dégustation as "the best bargain since Matt Stairs".  A year later, Matt Stairs is playing in the World Series (with the Phillies, natch) and Mirazur is raking in the accolades.  Holy effing Nostradamus.

A recent check of the Mirazur website shows that the Menu Dégustation has skyrocketed in price, from 75€ to 80€ - so, don't say I didn't warn you.  If you extrapolate the same 6.67% annual increase, you'll be paying as follows:

Oct 23, 2010 - 91.02€

Oct 23, 2020 - 173.55€

Oct 23, 2050 - 1,203.09€

Oct 23, 2100 - 30,320.23€

Oct 23, 3000 - 510,015,997,207,026,000,000,000,000,000.00€

My god.  Why wait till the year 3000 when you can go now at a fraction of the price?  You're a friggin idiot if you think half a nonillion dollars is a good deal for dinner.  Go now because 80€ is a steal.

And while we are the topic of anniversaries, this is the 15th anniversary of the HR.  The photo below says it all.  

Whooaaaaaa....we're halfway there....

Yeah, that's right.  The "a hit from every country" project of late 2007, while on life support, did not die.  The main reason for this is because I finally realized I could export stats from Google Analytics to Excel....I really should have figured that out sooner. 

Anyway, with my newly exported list of countries and a quick vlookup, it has been determined that WWMRD is now sitting at a total of 99 (of my wish list of 197) countries.  The lucky land to get us over 50% - Croatia.

While research this piece, it was learned that both Bill Belichick and Nick Saban are of Croatian heritage.  Above is a photo of Belichick and Saban together.

You're probably wondering who are the countries added to the WWMRD hall of fame since last updated.  In no particular order, other than alphabetical, they are:

Algeria

Bahamas

China

Costa Rica

China

Dominican Republic

El Salvador

Iceland

Jamaica

Lithuania

Luxembourg

Macedonia

Malta

Pakistan

Russia

Serbia

Slovenia

Sri Lanka

Trinidad and Tobago

Tunisia

No real surprises there....except for China.  WTF?  20% of the world's population and it takes you a year to get on board?  For shame....though, perhaps we were banned there?

OK, I forgive.  Glad to have you.

So - goals for the coming months.  A few more countries from Africa and Polynesian penetration that would make Paul Gauguin proud. 

Feel free to help WWMRD - forward the URL to anyone you may know in:

Afghanistan

Albania

Andorra

Angola

Antigua and Barbuda

Armenia

Azerbaijan

Bahrain

Bangladesh

Belarus

Belize

Benin

Bhutan

Botswana

Brunei Darussalam

Bulgaria

Burma

Burundi

Cambodia

Cameroon

Cape Verde

Chad

Comoros

Cuba

Cyprus

Democratic Republic of the Congo

Djibouti

Dominica

East Timor

Ecuador

Equatorial Guinea

Eritrea

Ethiopia

Fiji

Gabon

Gambia

Georgia

Greenland

Grenada

Guinea

Guinea-Bissau

Guyana

Haiti

Honduras

Jordan

Kazakhstan

Kiribati

Kyrgyzstan

Laos

Lebanon

Lesotho

Liberia

Libya

Madagascar

Malawi

Maldives

Mali

Marshall Islands

Mauritania

Micronesia

Moldova

Mongolia

Montenegro

Mozambique

Namibia

Nauru

Nepal

Nicaragua

Niger

Nigeria

North Korea

Oman

Palau

Panama

Papua New Guinea

Paraguay

Republic of the Congo

Rwanda

Saint Kitts and Nevis

Saint Lucia

Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Samoa

San Marino

São Tome and Príncipe

Seychelles

Sierra Leone

Somalia

Sudan

Suriname

Swaziland

Syria

Tajikistan

Tanzania

Togo

Tonga

Turkmenistan

Tuvalu

Uganda

Uruguay

Uzbekistan

Vanuatu

Yemen

Zambia

Zimbabwe

Especially East Timor....my god, are they even allowed to have the internets there?

As if the trip to work could get any worse.....

Sweet merciful crap.  Where have the days gone?

Yes, I apologize for the lack of commitment.  Me to blogging is as Tom Brady to fatherhood.  (Ah, Brady jokes....that felt good.)

I assume you are wondering what initiated the return to the world of typing to an audience of zero?  Well, it was this idiot right here:

It says here that Fen-Phen is most effective while being an uncivil slob.  Why does my chest hurt?

Consider this a companion piece to the WorldWideNetWeb's "Get to Know your Fellow Commuters" series.  Yes, the topic is unoriginal....but you can't expect my first post in months to be all thaaaaaat groundbreaking.  I'm not looking to shatter that glass ceiling that Hillary cracked....I'm just home alone, somewhat bored and halfway through a bottle of wine.

Back to the photo....you'll notice a stout woman taking up two seats during this morning's commuter rush on the TTC.  The display was way more obnoxious that the usual "my laptop is really heavy and needs it's own seat" crowd who we commuters usually have to deal with.  This peach decided that even with people standing everywhere, (some of whom were senior citizens) she needed a seat for her oversized ass, and another seat for her ham-hock legs crammed into knock-off Ugg boots.

I know you're not supposed to hit a person with glasses, but how about an inconsiderate sow-bag?  The reason I ask is because I really wanted to smack her, but I used better judgement and restrained myself.  Instead, I found myself questioning her obviously checkered upbringing and choice in oversized purses.  I'll let the purse thing slide, because how else are you going to get a 5lb frozen lasagna (aka lunch) to the office.....but what kind of person lacks the decency to realize that putting your dirty, wet boots where someone may want to sit is indefensible? 

As she waddled out of the car and up the stairs (probably on her way to buy a large diet coke) at Yonge Station, the seats were quickly filled again by people who were none the wiser.  Although I ran an 8% chance of being busted, and possibly charged, for taking this photo...I am glad I did it.  This kind of behaviour can not be forgiven or forgotten.  (It's somewhere between 9/11 and the Alamo, in my opinion.)  

Personally, I'm content with the knowledge that upwards of eight people may see this photo and know the true tale of what happened earlier today.  In a perfect world, the asshat above would read this post and realize that she should sit up straight....the subway isn't your own personal gurney at the overeaters anonymous VIP lounge.  Even better, I call on Councillor Adam Giambrone to ban her from the TTC.  At least it would make her get out and walk somewhere. The good Lord knows she could use it.

(Sorry if that was mean....she really was deserving of the insults.)

Toronto the bland.....

Yeah, I don't really have anything good to say....just wanted to tally up the countries before it gets out of hand.

As of today, we can add Denmark, Morocco, Indonesia and Estonia to the mix.

By the way, did anyone happen to travel past Museum Station today on the Yonge University Spadina line? The renovations are finally done, and I must say - I'm a fan.

A travel mug full of gin will make you see crazy things on the morning commute...

I don't know who ponied up the cash for this, and I really don't care. It's little touches like this that make a pretty bland city like Toronto a bit more interesting. While we're at it, you can also consider me a fan of the OCAD Building, the new Crystal at the ROM and Toronto's post-modern masterpiece, Wild Wings on the Danforth.

It's very rare that you see design in this city stray away from the standard issue office tower/condo design du jour. If it continues, the downtown core is going to look extrodinarily dated in about 30 years.

Don't forget, the building above was also considered modern about 30 or 35 years ago. Looking at it now makes we want to move to a tent city somewhere far away....

Morrissey - pro-seal, anti-rural economy.

This just in....Morrissey is apparently pro-seal, anti-rural economy.

Morrissey Hates Canada, Loves Seals

OK, first off....why do I care? Morrissey, while once relevant, lost the title of "Best Lyracist" to Joel Plaskett about 10-12 years ago. So, really...Morrissey's opinion on anything should hold about as much weight as Sebastian Bach's. (editors note: We here at WWMRD would value Sebastian Bach's opinion on the seal hunt far more than Morrissey's.....at least he's Canadian.)

Apparently you can chunk out on just vegetables...

Is the seal hunt the new cause-du-jour ? It seems every washed up celebrity looking to get their name in the press has something bad to say about the seal cull in Canada, (more on this later.)

At last check, Harp Seals are by no means endangered...not even close. Local hunters are not killing off seals to the point of extinction, they seem to be following the quotas set out by the Canadian government. Have to assume that someone has calculated a reasonable cull per year...I don't think the government is that unreasonable to try an purposely push a species to the proverbial brink.

Now, don't get me wrong...I have no problem with people standing up for something (seals) which really can't stand up for themselves. As an example, I am all for saving Pandas...but at last check, aren't there like 2,000 of them left? There are MILLIONS of seals. Just like there are MILLIONS of chinchillas and chickens out there. I fail to see the issue with a reasonable annual hunt.

Is it the method in which they are killed? At last check, I would not care to have my head smashed with a hakapik either, but it's a lot better than being torn to shreds by hounds, purely for the entertainment of the noble set in England. At last check, Morrissey is not boycotting the UK. Yeah, yeah...the fox hunt is illegal, but guess what....there are still a lot more fox hunters than seal hunters. What? Not boycotting the United States either? What about that whole Iraq thing? For my money, I'd much rather take a swift, crushing blow to the head than the good times that go along with waterboarding.

Now, I really shouldn't knock Morrissey. Dude is a vegetarian, and would probably stick up for any animal, (that said, he used to wear a lot of leather.) He's a better man than I am...because if I was pulling in Smiths royalty cheques, I'd be eating foie gras twice a day. I don't agree with his views, but at least he sticks to them....and that is somewhat noble. What gets me is that it seems the timing of his tirade against Canada seems to be coincidentally lined up with the recent release of his greatest hits album.

So, maybe it's all just a cozy cause to get behind. Speaking out against Canada is kind of like picking on the small kid in your class. Really, what are we going to do about it? As per Wiki, here's a list of the "celebrities" who are anti-seal hunt:

Richard Dean Anderson
Charles Aznavour
Kim Basinger
Juliette Binoche
Sir Paul McCartney
Heather Mills
Mick Jagger
George Harrison
Pamela Anderson
Martin Sheen
Mogwai
Pierce Brosnan
Paris Hilton
Sara Quin
Loretta Swit
Robert Kennedy, Jr.
Rutger Hauer
Brigitte Bardot
John Paul DeJoria
Ed Begley, Jr.
Dave Foreman
Farley Mowat
Linda Blair
Berkeley Breathed
Rolf Harris
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Jet
The Vines
Hawthorne Heights
Pink
The Darkness
Good Charlotte

Who cares about anyone on this list? Not me. The only decent one of the bunch is Mogwai, and they hate everything. Call me once George Clooney gets involved.

Now, don't overestimate what I've just said. I'm an idiot, and I have about as much knowledge of the seal hunt as anyone mentioned in this piece. If anyone has a link to some anti-seal hunt research, done by a scientist who is biased one way or the other, send it my way as I'd be more than glad to read it.

Morrissey, if you want to rally against something that is going to better the world, at least do your best to bring down big tobacco, pollution or even human rights in many parts or the world. At least there is some upside for your fellow man there.

Awesome

I've got nothing to say. At all. Just wanted to give all yous an update on the countries that have reveled in WWMRD for the first time this week.

Iraq
Monaco
Iceland
Bermuda
Slovenia
Nigeria

Isn't that awesome? Speaking of being awesome, if you google the term "awesome" this is the first image returned:

And you know what? It is awesome.

If you ask the glorious Jeeves the same question, here's what he provides:

Fack me. And with that, we now know why Larry Page and Sergey Brin are richer than astronauts, and the guy behind Ask Jeeves is best known for being an "accomplished pilot".

Happy Easter and all of that. Will try to post something more when I am not drunk and not to mention, a fantasy baseball draft in under an hour....I'm thinking Jeff Kent is due for a career year.

Islands love me....

Another day, another couple countries added to the tally...

The kid on the left was looking some anti-Belichick content. He found it here.

Today, it was New Zealand and the Solomon Islands. Good people down there.

Well, other that just writing about the quest for world domination, I figure I should ad some actual content. Problem is, I really have nothing to write about. Nothing inspires me. Last fall's inevitable return to the 9-5, well...call it 8-6...has numbed my brain to the point where I can't even string together 300 words on the Bills offseason acquisitions.

Let's see what else sucks:

-TV, except for my new favourite show Manhunter on OLN.
-Commuting. Everyone should tune into Steve Holt's series on Toronto's finest here.
-Moving. Yes, I have to move this weekend. Not cool.
-Chris Bosh's bum knee.
-Record snowfalls.

Help us Matt Walsh....you're are only hope!

Yahtzee!!!

So, after spending some time reviewing the list of required countries, I bet you thought to yourself, "No hits from China? That's effed." And you know what, you're right. Vegas had a hit from China paying just over even money....not at all a long shot. Through sheer luck, it's only a matter of time until one of those billion plus just happen to end up here.

Now, knowing that China was paying just over even money.....I hope one of you played the Qatar/Liechtenstein parlay today....because them shitz paid!!

Watch these number spike once Prince Hans-Adam II acquires a taste for Michelob Ultra.

Qatar and Liechtenstein in one day.....this is better than....ummm....Grease 2?

Holy fack....you countries are lazy.

What's wrong 67% of the planet? Do you not find me attractive anymore?

WWMRD is known for the dry skin on his chins.

Below, please see the list of the required countries. We now know that Afghanis are a bunch of flakes...but I have hope for the good people of Eritrea.

Afghanistan
Albania
Algeria
Andorra
Angola
Antigua and Barbuda
Armenia
Azerbaijan
Bahamas
Bahrain
Bangladesh
Belarus
Belize
Benin
Bhutan
Botswana
Brunei Darussalam
Bulgaria
Burma
Burundi
Cambodia
Cameroon
Cape Verde
Cayman Islands
Chad
China
Comoros
Costa Rica
Croatia
Cuba
Cyprus
Democratic Republic of the Congo
Denmark
Djibouti
Dominica
Dominican Republic
East Timor
Ecuador
El Salvador
Equatorial Guinea
Eritrea
Estonia
Ethiopia
Fiji
Gabon
Gambia
Georgia
Germany
Greenland
Grenada
Guinea
Guinea-Bissau
Guyana
Haiti
Honduras
Iceland
Indonesia
Iraq
Jamaica
Jordan
Kazakhstan
Kiribati
Kyrgyzstan
Laos
Lebanon
Lesotho
Liberia
Libya
Liechtenstein
Lithuania
Luxembourg
Macedonia
Madagascar
Malawi
Maldives
Mali
Malta
Marshall Islands
Mauritania
Micronesia
Moldova
Mongolia
Montenegro
Morocco
Mozambique
Namibia
Nauru
Nepal
New Zealand
Nicaragua
Niger
Nigeria
North Korea
Oman
Pakistan
Palau
Panama
Papua New Guinea
Paraguay
Peru
Qatar
Republic of the Congo
Russia
Rwanda
Saint Kitts and Nevis
Saint Lucia
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
Samoa
San Marino
São Tome and Príncipe
Serbia
Seychelles
Sierra Leone
Slovenia
Solomon Islands
Somalia
Sri Lanka
Sudan
Suriname
Swaziland
Syria
Tajikistan
Tanzania
Togo
Tonga
Trinidad and Tobago
Tunisia
Turkmenistan
Tuvalu
Uganda
Uruguay
Uzbekistan
Vanuatu
Yemen
Zambia
Zimbabwe

Thanks for Nothing Afghanistan.....Hellloooooooooooooo Barbados.

Well...the past couple days have left us feeling like a certain P. Phillips on prom night with our rejection from the good people of Afghanistan. With that said, who effing cares! We have the Barbados picking up their slack!

Now batting for your 1983 Seattle Mariners.....Prime Minister David Thompson!

March 3rd presented WWMRD with a visitor from the Barbados! This leaves us with just 136 countries to go before we are successful in our quest for world domination.

The WWMRD Geography Challenge (or: How I Conquered the World Without Leaving the House)

Yeah yeah...I know I promised more posts in 2008. Seems that I am liar..... or am I?

For the past couple months, I have been holed up at WWMRD HQ, like a post-Rattle & Hum, pre-Achtung Baby U2. I had to go away and dream it all up again, (a line I stole from Bono....pretty sure Coldplay stole it as well.)

Anyway, WWMRD is back.....with the WWMRD Geography Challenge!

Since it's inception in July 2007, WWMRD has had visitors from 62 different countries. That leaves approximately 135 more countries than remain untouched by WWMRD. This needs to be rectified!

As of March 1, 2008 the map below details WWMRD's global reach.

As you can see - we're doing well in North America, South America and Europe. The rest of the globe....not so much.

Over the coming weeks and months, the goal is to have at least one visitor from all of the remaining countries. The list of countries has been compiled from wikipedia's listing of United Nations members, throwing in few extras like Taiwan and Greenland for good measure. Ultimately, the goal is to have the map above be covered in green.

How will I do this? Not really sure. I figure if I write about some stuff of interest in each of these local countries, I'm bound to snag a visitor. Who really knows though....

So, starting at the top.....we've got Afghanistan!

Hello Afghanistan! How are things? Are you excited for the coming Nauroz celebrations on the 21st of March? I hope you have a good time stuffing yourselves with kulcha Naurozee and playing your national sport of Buzkashi, as seen below:

Well, I'd better run! I'm off to listen to my collection or Farhad Darya records!

Regards,
WWMRD

I've failed you...

Team, I apologize. A return to work, and recent holiday season has lead to a certain level of flakiness with regards to my posting up here on the WWMRD. Flaky is putting it lightly. Irresponsible, unloving and mean. These would all be better words to describe my behaviour.

OK, apologies behind us....what's new? Well....not much. In fact, I have nothing to write about...that's why I am rambling. I figure I'm just going to fire up this post with short, quick tidbits. With 60% of WWMRD readers suffering from ADD, I figure I am doing most of you a service by keeping the points short.

Well...where to begin?

**Did anyone else realize that Color Me Badd was from Oklahoma City? That really doesn't make sense. Does it? I figured their fashion-foward sensibilities and hot sound, they MUST be from Miami or New York City. How do four guys (there were four, right?) from OK City form an R&B outfit? Nonsense.

**There are at least four movies I've seen at the theatre more than once. They are Hot Shots, Terminator 2, Dumb and Dumber & Little Nicky. Of the 15 people that saw Little Nicky, two of them were me.

**You should go to the World Wide Net Web, and pester Steve Holt for the recipe for his Coffee and Chile crusted Tenderloin with Chimichurri. It's without question amongst the three best meals I had in 2007. The other two are Sweetbreads with Red Wine Grits and Thyme Mushrooms at the Auld Spot, and the valhalla which was Mirazur. Oh wait, Riverdale Iron Chef was good too. Fack, that makes four.

**A morning commute on the TTC is one of the most horrible things in the world. As a rule, people are miserable....as they should be, they're on the way to work. The early morning must also make people retarded, as there is never a shortage of people who will attempt to defy physics by cramming themselves onto a subway car which is already at capacity. I'm looking at you Broadview Station. And to the person on my car this morning who chose to "cut the mustard," go f*ck yourself. Seriously. There is not a more inconsiderate thing you could do. If there was a way to determine who committed this crime, (other than the "thee who smelt it, dealt it" theorum. (Wait a sec, does that make me guilty?)) I would happily and rightfully punch them in the mouth.

**I saw Juno. Unlike everyone else, I just liked it....didn't love it. Excellent use of the term "junk", and a solid rip on the recent works of Sonic Youth....but some of the dialouge seemed a little forced. People don't really talk like that. Well, not anyone I know anyway.

**Is anyone else glad that Jim Rice didn't get elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame? No offense to Jim, but I'm sick of all things Boston....except the mashed potatoes at the Boston Market. I figured the Boston love-in of 2007 would have gotten him into the hall. Is this the first sign of a Boston backlash? This is the worst thing to happen to Boston since Bill Simmons started his podcast and the world realized his voice sounded like that of a 17 year old "dude".

**Has there ever been another crime where the the "victim" got high fives from every person he knows?

**What the hell is up with all the hipsters wearing PLO scarves? This is the worst fashion statement since Von Dutch anything. When I see people wearing these things, I just want to yell "get back on your ten speed and bring me some urgent documents!"

**British Sea Power's, "Do You Like Rock Music?" is the best album of 2008.....so far. I know it is not out yet, but I stole it from the internets. I'm not going to buy this album either. That said, I WILL definitely see them when the come to town...and there's a good chance I'll get drunk and buy a t-shirt. That puts more cash in the band's collective hand....and it wouldn't have been possible if I didn't "steal" their record.

**Frank D'Angelo remains a douche. I might get sued for saying that.

**Poison was a better band than Mötley Crüe.

**PVRs rule.

And on that note, the wife has an episode of "Ace of Cakes" cued up. Gotta run. I'll try to post more in 2008. This is my only resolution.