As if the trip to work could get any worse.....

Sweet merciful crap.  Where have the days gone?

Yes, I apologize for the lack of commitment.  Me to blogging is as Tom Brady to fatherhood.  (Ah, Brady jokes....that felt good.)

I assume you are wondering what initiated the return to the world of typing to an audience of zero?  Well, it was this idiot right here:

It says here that Fen-Phen is most effective while being an uncivil slob.  Why does my chest hurt?

Consider this a companion piece to the WorldWideNetWeb's "Get to Know your Fellow Commuters" series.  Yes, the topic is unoriginal....but you can't expect my first post in months to be all thaaaaaat groundbreaking.  I'm not looking to shatter that glass ceiling that Hillary cracked....I'm just home alone, somewhat bored and halfway through a bottle of wine.

Back to the photo....you'll notice a stout woman taking up two seats during this morning's commuter rush on the TTC.  The display was way more obnoxious that the usual "my laptop is really heavy and needs it's own seat" crowd who we commuters usually have to deal with.  This peach decided that even with people standing everywhere, (some of whom were senior citizens) she needed a seat for her oversized ass, and another seat for her ham-hock legs crammed into knock-off Ugg boots.

I know you're not supposed to hit a person with glasses, but how about an inconsiderate sow-bag?  The reason I ask is because I really wanted to smack her, but I used better judgement and restrained myself.  Instead, I found myself questioning her obviously checkered upbringing and choice in oversized purses.  I'll let the purse thing slide, because how else are you going to get a 5lb frozen lasagna (aka lunch) to the office.....but what kind of person lacks the decency to realize that putting your dirty, wet boots where someone may want to sit is indefensible? 

As she waddled out of the car and up the stairs (probably on her way to buy a large diet coke) at Yonge Station, the seats were quickly filled again by people who were none the wiser.  Although I ran an 8% chance of being busted, and possibly charged, for taking this photo...I am glad I did it.  This kind of behaviour can not be forgiven or forgotten.  (It's somewhere between 9/11 and the Alamo, in my opinion.)  

Personally, I'm content with the knowledge that upwards of eight people may see this photo and know the true tale of what happened earlier today.  In a perfect world, the asshat above would read this post and realize that she should sit up straight....the subway isn't your own personal gurney at the overeaters anonymous VIP lounge.  Even better, I call on Councillor Adam Giambrone to ban her from the TTC.  At least it would make her get out and walk somewhere. The good Lord knows she could use it.

(Sorry if that was mean....she really was deserving of the insults.)

I've failed you...

Team, I apologize. A return to work, and recent holiday season has lead to a certain level of flakiness with regards to my posting up here on the WWMRD. Flaky is putting it lightly. Irresponsible, unloving and mean. These would all be better words to describe my behaviour.

OK, apologies behind us....what's new? Well....not much. In fact, I have nothing to write about...that's why I am rambling. I figure I'm just going to fire up this post with short, quick tidbits. With 60% of WWMRD readers suffering from ADD, I figure I am doing most of you a service by keeping the points short.

Well...where to begin?

**Did anyone else realize that Color Me Badd was from Oklahoma City? That really doesn't make sense. Does it? I figured their fashion-foward sensibilities and hot sound, they MUST be from Miami or New York City. How do four guys (there were four, right?) from OK City form an R&B outfit? Nonsense.

**There are at least four movies I've seen at the theatre more than once. They are Hot Shots, Terminator 2, Dumb and Dumber & Little Nicky. Of the 15 people that saw Little Nicky, two of them were me.

**You should go to the World Wide Net Web, and pester Steve Holt for the recipe for his Coffee and Chile crusted Tenderloin with Chimichurri. It's without question amongst the three best meals I had in 2007. The other two are Sweetbreads with Red Wine Grits and Thyme Mushrooms at the Auld Spot, and the valhalla which was Mirazur. Oh wait, Riverdale Iron Chef was good too. Fack, that makes four.

**A morning commute on the TTC is one of the most horrible things in the world. As a rule, people are miserable....as they should be, they're on the way to work. The early morning must also make people retarded, as there is never a shortage of people who will attempt to defy physics by cramming themselves onto a subway car which is already at capacity. I'm looking at you Broadview Station. And to the person on my car this morning who chose to "cut the mustard," go f*ck yourself. Seriously. There is not a more inconsiderate thing you could do. If there was a way to determine who committed this crime, (other than the "thee who smelt it, dealt it" theorum. (Wait a sec, does that make me guilty?)) I would happily and rightfully punch them in the mouth.

**I saw Juno. Unlike everyone else, I just liked it....didn't love it. Excellent use of the term "junk", and a solid rip on the recent works of Sonic Youth....but some of the dialouge seemed a little forced. People don't really talk like that. Well, not anyone I know anyway.

**Is anyone else glad that Jim Rice didn't get elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame? No offense to Jim, but I'm sick of all things Boston....except the mashed potatoes at the Boston Market. I figured the Boston love-in of 2007 would have gotten him into the hall. Is this the first sign of a Boston backlash? This is the worst thing to happen to Boston since Bill Simmons started his podcast and the world realized his voice sounded like that of a 17 year old "dude".

**Has there ever been another crime where the the "victim" got high fives from every person he knows?

**What the hell is up with all the hipsters wearing PLO scarves? This is the worst fashion statement since Von Dutch anything. When I see people wearing these things, I just want to yell "get back on your ten speed and bring me some urgent documents!"

**British Sea Power's, "Do You Like Rock Music?" is the best album of 2008.....so far. I know it is not out yet, but I stole it from the internets. I'm not going to buy this album either. That said, I WILL definitely see them when the come to town...and there's a good chance I'll get drunk and buy a t-shirt. That puts more cash in the band's collective hand....and it wouldn't have been possible if I didn't "steal" their record.

**Frank D'Angelo remains a douche. I might get sued for saying that.

**Poison was a better band than Mötley Crüe.

**PVRs rule.

And on that note, the wife has an episode of "Ace of Cakes" cued up. Gotta run. I'll try to post more in 2008. This is my only resolution.