Tuesday, September 30, 2008

As if the trip to work could get any worse.....

Sweet merciful crap.  Where have the days gone?

Yes, I apologize for the lack of commitment.  Me to blogging is as Tom Brady to fatherhood.  (Ah, Brady jokes....that felt good.)

I assume you are wondering what initiated the return to the world of typing to an audience of zero?  Well, it was this idiot right here:


It says here that Fen-Phen is most effective while being an uncivil slob.  Why does my chest hurt?

Consider this a companion piece to the WorldWideNetWeb's "Get to Know your Fellow Commuters" series.  Yes, the topic is unoriginal....but you can't expect my first post in months to be all thaaaaaat groundbreaking.  I'm not looking to shatter that glass ceiling that Hillary cracked....I'm just home alone, somewhat bored and halfway through a bottle of wine.

Back to the photo....you'll notice a stout woman taking up two seats during this morning's commuter rush on the TTC.  The display was way more obnoxious that the usual "my laptop is really heavy and needs it's own seat" crowd who we commuters usually have to deal with.  This peach decided that even with people standing everywhere, (some of whom were senior citizens) she needed a seat for her oversized ass, and another seat for her ham-hock legs crammed into knock-off Ugg boots.

I know you're not supposed to hit a person with glasses, but how about an inconsiderate sow-bag?  The reason I ask is because I really wanted to smack her, but I used better judgement and restrained myself.  Instead, I found myself questioning her obviously checkered upbringing and choice in oversized purses.  I'll let the purse thing slide, because how else are you going to get a 5lb frozen lasagna (aka lunch) to the office.....but what kind of person lacks the decency to realize that putting your dirty, wet boots where someone may want to sit is indefensible? 

As she waddled out of the car and up the stairs (probably on her way to buy a large diet coke) at Yonge Station, the seats were quickly filled again by people who were none the wiser.  Although I ran an 8% chance of being busted, and possibly charged, for taking this photo...I am glad I did it.  This kind of behaviour can not be forgiven or forgotten.  (It's somewhere between 9/11 and the Alamo, in my opinion.)  

Personally, I'm content with the knowledge that upwards of eight people may see this photo and know the true tale of what happened earlier today.  In a perfect world, the asshat above would read this post and realize that she should sit up straight....the subway isn't your own personal gurney at the overeaters anonymous VIP lounge.  Even better, I call on Councillor Adam Giambrone to ban her from the TTC.  At least it would make her get out and walk somewhere. The good Lord knows she could use it.

(Sorry if that was mean....she really was deserving of the insults.)

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Toronto the bland.....

Yeah, I don't really have anything good to say....just wanted to tally up the countries before it gets out of hand.

As of today, we can add Denmark, Morocco, Indonesia and Estonia to the mix.

By the way, did anyone happen to travel past Museum Station today on the Yonge University Spadina line? The renovations are finally done, and I must say - I'm a fan.

A travel mug full of gin will make you see crazy things on the morning commute...

I don't know who ponied up the cash for this, and I really don't care. It's little touches like this that make a pretty bland city like Toronto a bit more interesting. While we're at it, you can also consider me a fan of the OCAD Building, the new Crystal at the ROM and Toronto's post-modern masterpiece, Wild Wings on the Danforth.

It's very rare that you see design in this city stray away from the standard issue office tower/condo design du jour. If it continues, the downtown core is going to look extrodinarily dated in about 30 years.


Don't forget, the building above was also considered modern about 30 or 35 years ago. Looking at it now makes we want to move to a tent city somewhere far away....

Monday, April 7, 2008

Morrissey - pro-seal, anti-rural economy.

This just in....Morrissey is apparently pro-seal, anti-rural economy.

Morrissey Hates Canada, Loves Seals

OK, first off....why do I care? Morrissey, while once relevant, lost the title of "Best Lyracist" to Joel Plaskett about 10-12 years ago. So, really...Morrissey's opinion on anything should hold about as much weight as Sebastian Bach's. (editors note: We here at WWMRD would value Sebastian Bach's opinion on the seal hunt far more than Morrissey's.....at least he's Canadian.)


Apparently you can chunk out on just vegetables...

Is the seal hunt the new cause-du-jour ? It seems every washed up celebrity looking to get their name in the press has something bad to say about the seal cull in Canada, (more on this later.)

At last check, Harp Seals are by no means endangered...not even close. Local hunters are not killing off seals to the point of extinction, they seem to be following the quotas set out by the Canadian government. Have to assume that someone has calculated a reasonable cull per year...I don't think the government is that unreasonable to try an purposely push a species to the proverbial brink.

Now, don't get me wrong...I have no problem with people standing up for something (seals) which really can't stand up for themselves. As an example, I am all for saving Pandas...but at last check, aren't there like 2,000 of them left? There are MILLIONS of seals. Just like there are MILLIONS of chinchillas and chickens out there. I fail to see the issue with a reasonable annual hunt.

Is it the method in which they are killed? At last check, I would not care to have my head smashed with a hakapik either, but it's a lot better than being torn to shreds by hounds, purely for the entertainment of the noble set in England. At last check, Morrissey is not boycotting the UK. Yeah, yeah...the fox hunt is illegal, but guess what....there are still a lot more fox hunters than seal hunters. What? Not boycotting the United States either? What about that whole Iraq thing? For my money, I'd much rather take a swift, crushing blow to the head than the good times that go along with waterboarding.

Now, I really shouldn't knock Morrissey. Dude is a vegetarian, and would probably stick up for any animal, (that said, he used to wear a lot of leather.) He's a better man than I am...because if I was pulling in Smiths royalty cheques, I'd be eating foie gras twice a day. I don't agree with his views, but at least he sticks to them....and that is somewhat noble. What gets me is that it seems the timing of his tirade against Canada seems to be coincidentally lined up with the recent release of his greatest hits album.

So, maybe it's all just a cozy cause to get behind. Speaking out against Canada is kind of like picking on the small kid in your class. Really, what are we going to do about it? As per Wiki, here's a list of the "celebrities" who are anti-seal hunt:

Richard Dean Anderson
Charles Aznavour
Kim Basinger
Juliette Binoche
Sir Paul McCartney
Heather Mills
Mick Jagger
George Harrison
Pamela Anderson
Martin Sheen
Mogwai
Pierce Brosnan
Paris Hilton
Sara Quin
Loretta Swit
Robert Kennedy, Jr.
Rutger Hauer
Brigitte Bardot
John Paul DeJoria
Ed Begley, Jr.
Dave Foreman
Farley Mowat
Linda Blair
Berkeley Breathed
Rolf Harris
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Jet
The Vines
Hawthorne Heights
Pink
The Darkness
Good Charlotte

Who cares about anyone on this list? Not me. The only decent one of the bunch is Mogwai, and they hate everything. Call me once George Clooney gets involved.

Now, don't overestimate what I've just said. I'm an idiot, and I have about as much knowledge of the seal hunt as anyone mentioned in this piece. If anyone has a link to some anti-seal hunt research, done by a scientist who is biased one way or the other, send it my way as I'd be more than glad to read it.

Morrissey, if you want to rally against something that is going to better the world, at least do your best to bring down big tobacco, pollution or even human rights in many parts or the world. At least there is some upside for your fellow man there.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Awesome

I've got nothing to say. At all. Just wanted to give all yous an update on the countries that have reveled in WWMRD for the first time this week.

Iraq
Monaco
Iceland
Bermuda
Slovenia
Nigeria

Isn't that awesome? Speaking of being awesome, if you google the term "awesome" this is the first image returned:


And you know what? It is awesome.

If you ask the glorious Jeeves the same question, here's what he provides:



Fack me. And with that, we now know why Larry Page and Sergey Brin are richer than astronauts, and the guy behind Ask Jeeves is best known for being an "accomplished pilot".

Happy Easter and all of that. Will try to post something more when I am not drunk and not to mention, a fantasy baseball draft in under an hour....I'm thinking Jeff Kent is due for a career year.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Islands love me....

Another day, another couple countries added to the tally...

The kid on the left was looking some anti-Belichick content. He found it here.

Today, it was New Zealand and the Solomon Islands. Good people down there.

Well, other that just writing about the quest for world domination, I figure I should ad some actual content. Problem is, I really have nothing to write about. Nothing inspires me. Last fall's inevitable return to the 9-5, well...call it 8-6...has numbed my brain to the point where I can't even string together 300 words on the Bills offseason acquisitions.

Let's see what else sucks:

-TV, except for my new favourite show Manhunter on OLN.
-Commuting. Everyone should tune into Steve Holt's series on Toronto's finest here.
-Moving. Yes, I have to move this weekend. Not cool.
-Chris Bosh's bum knee.
-Record snowfalls.

Help us Matt Walsh....you're are only hope!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Yahtzee!!!

So, after spending some time reviewing the list of required countries, I bet you thought to yourself, "No hits from China? That's effed." And you know what, you're right. Vegas had a hit from China paying just over even money....not at all a long shot. Through sheer luck, it's only a matter of time until one of those billion plus just happen to end up here.

Now, knowing that China was paying just over even money.....I hope one of you played the Qatar/Liechtenstein parlay today....because them shitz paid!!

Watch these number spike once Prince Hans-Adam II acquires a taste for Michelob Ultra.


Qatar and Liechtenstein in one day.....this is better than....ummm....Grease 2?

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Holy fack....you countries are lazy.

What's wrong 67% of the planet? Do you not find me attractive anymore?

WWMRD is known for the dry skin on his chins.



Below, please see the list of the required countries. We now know that Afghanis are a bunch of flakes...but I have hope for the good people of Eritrea.

Afghanistan
Albania
Algeria
Andorra
Angola
Antigua and Barbuda
Armenia
Azerbaijan
Bahamas
Bahrain
Bangladesh
Belarus
Belize
Benin
Bhutan
Botswana
Brunei Darussalam
Bulgaria
Burma
Burundi
Cambodia
Cameroon
Cape Verde
Cayman Islands
Chad
China
Comoros
Costa Rica
Croatia
Cuba
Cyprus
Democratic Republic of the Congo
Denmark
Djibouti
Dominica
Dominican Republic
East Timor
Ecuador
El Salvador
Equatorial Guinea
Eritrea
Estonia
Ethiopia
Fiji
Gabon
Gambia
Georgia
Germany
Greenland
Grenada
Guinea
Guinea-Bissau
Guyana
Haiti
Honduras
Iceland
Indonesia
Iraq
Jamaica
Jordan
Kazakhstan
Kiribati
Kyrgyzstan
Laos
Lebanon
Lesotho
Liberia
Libya
Liechtenstein
Lithuania
Luxembourg
Macedonia
Madagascar
Malawi
Maldives
Mali
Malta
Marshall Islands
Mauritania
Micronesia
Moldova
Mongolia
Montenegro
Morocco
Mozambique
Namibia
Nauru
Nepal
New Zealand
Nicaragua
Niger
Nigeria
North Korea
Oman
Pakistan
Palau
Panama
Papua New Guinea
Paraguay
Peru
Qatar
Republic of the Congo
Russia
Rwanda
Saint Kitts and Nevis
Saint Lucia
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
Samoa
San Marino
São Tome and Príncipe
Serbia
Seychelles
Sierra Leone
Slovenia
Solomon Islands
Somalia
Sri Lanka
Sudan
Suriname
Swaziland
Syria
Tajikistan
Tanzania
Togo
Tonga
Trinidad and Tobago
Tunisia
Turkmenistan
Tuvalu
Uganda
Uruguay
Uzbekistan
Vanuatu
Yemen
Zambia
Zimbabwe

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